| Report: | Banana skin, trip hazard and metaphorical pothole avoided as HMS "Stortford II" cruises to another victory against old nemesis Berko! Not a straightforward result against weakened opponents and there was plenty of ugly squash! Paul 'Running man' Cousins kicked things off against wee Julian, very much a David v Goliath affair, with some of his worst squash to date, 2 down forlorn and disconsolate he looked washed up, however, like the proverbial squash ball he bounced back and ground out the 'W' Respec, Bruv! Next up, Bagel Boy Delaney, bouncing around like an inflatable rubber ring, one way traffic, like a sluice gate pouring squash misery onto his younger opponent, a 3-0 evisceration, seeya, wouldn't wanna be ya! Meanwhile on court 2 Captain Ahab Ambrose, v wily old timer Rich Carr, with a combined age of 111 this would never be a match of beauty, and sure enough, it was awful. Mishits, frames, and even one off the handle, though it was close. The Stortford homeboy was about to go 2 up but then a terrible decision by the ref, which went down as well as a Gregg Wallace insta video, turned the tide and he was holed below the water, 1-3! Last on, William 'Sprite' Johnson against old timer Ali CokeCan, what an exhibition, and at 50 boy can he still play. He had WJ on a string, and like a floundering marlin there really was only one outcome. Trickery, wizardry, artistry, and some punishing rallies, a consolation game though a bit of a schooling. Luckily, he has clearly spent more time in the kitchen and the spag-bol was very tasty-silver cloud and all that, its only a game etc etc, and BSII score four wins on the bounce. Yeeha!! |
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